Oh, Amore' - My advice for real love.

Valentine's Day is coming. And with that, it has a lot of us thinking about Love.  And with Love comes relationships. With relationships comes problems.  I definitely know this first hand. The last 4 years it has been an almost full time career for my husband and I as we learn about how to keep it going and happy.  Without growth, we would've kicked each other to the curb a long time ago, because unfortunately, love is just not enough sometimes to keep you together.

Another blogger I read was asking for reader advice on how to keep your relationship happy. Of course I took this chance to share a little of what I've learned, compiled from various books and studies.  Here's what I wrote. Most of it is phrased from a women's perspective, but most could be applied to a man. Hope it can help make your Valentine's Day a little happier.


Don't insult his Mamma, that's insulting his character.

Tell him he's right before you tell him what he did wrong.

Make sure to thank him often for going to work for the family. (that is a really big deal to guys)

Kiss hello and goodbye. Every single time.

Make time for each other. Whether it's a date night (and not go to a movie together, go somewhere and actually talk to each other), or just taking time after the kids are in bed to do something you like to do together, like play a game.

Let him ramble about something you care absolutely nothing about.  (like politics), then in trade ramble about something he cares absolutely nothing about, like that great sale you found today.

Have sex even when you hate each other.

Use "I" statements not "you" statements when having fights.

Don't be afraid to tell him what you need.

Do a relationship "check up" and occasionally ask each other how you think you are doing as a couple.

Don't talk bad about your husband to your mom, your friends, the lady at the checkout. Find every chance to say something nice about him to someone else.

And always make the effort to grow and improve your marriage. It doesn't happen by itself.  I recommend "The Five Love Languages", "Love and Respect", and "Real Marriage" books.  Read them together. 

Have a church/life group or support group for when times are tough. Someone that will tell you if you are wrong.

and finally, find a good therapist.